What are biblical principles for a Christian wife divorcing her repeatedly unfaithful and verbally, emotionally, and at times physically assaulting unbelieving husband?


First, If you are in danger, leave. I believe with all my heart that in a Biblical sense the spouse who is abusive has already “left” the home because they are not their emotionally, spiritually or physically (except in an abusive way).

I wish I could truly give you a single answer that would be the ultimate answer to this question, but I cannot. I can guide you in how to pray.

First let me say…It is true the Bible is against divorce and remarriage, and against adultery. I do know of people who were in abusive situations that it was either leave or be battered and to that person I would say go unless the other spouse gets serious help and gets it now!  I also know many people who were divorced and remarried and are serving the Lord and even in full time ministry. I also know people in ministry that for no good reason other than personal convenience left a marriage that still had life in it to seek greener pastures (which is not what Christ would want us to do).

If that only confuses you more, I gave those different examples to show you that each situation must be looked at individually. Remember, God can forgive any sin, even murder or adultery. Sin is sin and staying in a bad marriage and hating your spouse is also a sin that is likened as murder by Christ.

I do know this, and this should guide your prayers…God looks at the heart and knows what is there. The Pharisees (in the Bible) outwardly did everything right and according to the law but inwardly they had no love or compassion. Jesus condemned them and likened them unto whitewashed tombs that were pretty outside but full of dead bones inside. Then there were prostitutes, lepers, and a host of other sinful and unclean people that Jesus loved and they loved back…and received the kingdom of God. They had their issues, but inside they had a heart that wanted to be close to Christ and be kind to others.

I would rather be the leper who at the end of the day got on my knees and said “I want to be close to you Lord and I need your forgiveness and mercy” than one who brags about doing everything right and proper but inside hates everyone and everything around.

So…what is in your heart? What are your motives?  Better yet…if Jesus were there beside you can you say that you not only did your best but you also prayed for those who had wronged you or you had wronged?

I am sorry I have had a hard time answering your question. I really believe God wants to speak to you about this situation personally. Seek Him with all your might, and listen to the still small whispers. I don’t know how He will lead, but He will lead if you let Him.